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An unerring physical resemblance to Tyrone Dobbs from Coronation Street has followed John around his entire life. So uncanny is this likeness that recently John earned 50p an hour above the minimum wage posing as Alan Halsall, the actor who plays Tyrone, for a waxwork artist at Madame Tussauds.

But John's big secret, known only to his family and a pretty orphan girl he once allowed to get too close, is that John's real identity IS soap opera actor Alan Halsall! Having the alter-ego of a sporty young chap from Reigate enables Alan to free himself from the trappings of B-list celebrity and live a more enriching life, incognito and under the radar of OK Magazine. As 'John', Alan enjoys playing 5-a-side football with ordinary people, dogging in the Asda car parks of East Surrey, and last year he toured the transvestite bars of Germany's industrial south with fellow undercover stars 'Matt' (Joe Pasquale) and 'Duncan' (David Walliams).

In fact, Alan and John's split-personalities have become so convoluted that neither can recall which came first, and a battle of wits to become the dominant identity rages on. The winner will receive the ultimate prize: complete control over the body of a hot 26-year-old man-boy at the peak of physical perfection.

John has wanted to be part of The Preds for as long as he and Alan have wanted to be a woman. And, for the 2010/11 season, this special wish was granted. So excited was John on hearing the news, that he broke strict ground rules concerning his occupation of Alan's body and celebrated wildly during the filming of Blanche's funeral. Alan was furious, as he was subsequently forced to perform a sex act on the series' producer to prevent Tyrone being axed from the show.

Despite his fame, fortune, plans to do 'Strictly' and the fact that he was once invited round to a Premiership footballer's house for tea, John sees acceptance to The Preds as his biggest achievement yet. Time will tell whether John can make his mark on the competition before he's ousted from Alan's avatar body by the personality of the populist actor - who incidentally knows diddly squat about football.