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Even though Alex is busy overseeing the Twitter Sporting Empire, he still manages to find time for his family. Whether that's the "Olympic family", the "UEFA family" or the "FIFA family", it makes little difference to Alex. A typical day will see him spend the morning driving the test tracks of Maranello before moving onto a power lunch with Lord Coe, finishing the day quaffing champers and fatted quails with the heads of FIFA while watching the Champions League Final.

It wasn't always like this. Born Wilden Trinket to a family of black pudding traders, Alex's early life was very different. Harsh, bleak, austere, with very few prospects, he lived a hand-to-mouth existence never knowing where his next non-black pudding based meal would come from.

His one escape during these early years was the magic of lists. Alex loved lists. He started by trying to list the top 100 citrus and pomaceous fruits but this proved too difficult (his hatred of grapefruit being a major stumbling block), so he switched his focus to listing the top 100 sportsmen. Hours would be spent comparing Merkx to Sobers, Cruyff to Gretzky and Fangio to Graf. Friends and family mocked the young Alex with his pointless and futile pursuit. But the laughing stopped when TFL noticed Al's unique talent and contracted him to create a pointless and futile tube map, replacing station names with famous Olympians. The new map was a huge success and not even a minor diplomatic incident with The Netherlands could halt Trickett's rising stock. Twitter soon came knocking. Alex had arrived!

A keen traveller, Alex collects countries like others collect Pokemon. The birth of a child did not stop Alex's globetrotting. He has friends on every continent, speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom and cuisine. He can blend in, disappear, and can walk into any bar, in any town, in any country, and with confidence demand to know if "anyone here speaks English".

Life was almost perfect for Alex. He had everything his heart desired. Access to millions with his sports-based facts, tickets to any sporting event and a close personal friendship with Pele (born out of their shared love of football and marital aids). But he had a hole in his life. A large, preds-shaped hole. This hole is now filled. Alex's life is complete.

Alex also collects Pokemon.