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Tommo's story is one that could mirror some of the greatest tragedies of all time. At his peak "What Disco" described Tommo as "supernatural in his ability to rock the floor, an evolutionary freak whose perspiring nose has lit up the life of modern music."

Sadly, Tommo took Newton to heart and whilst at the top, entertaining corporate evenings in Brighton, disaster struck and Tommo's hidden love for pie exposed him to the front right bumper of a pink VW. Never would those pins move so gracefully again.

During his decline, the Oxfordshire Tourist Board withdrew their open bus tour of lay-bys, and rumours of exaggerated beauties and his penchant for stuffed pastry and mayo led to a change in the public's perception, best summed up in 2002 when the News of the Screws led with the story "My body: No Temple". Tommo can currently be seen making love to a transsexual in a popular ITV soap. Disco's loss is Gay Pride's gain. RIP.