Profile

Like a greasy Italian rat subsisting on humanity's detritus, Mike can regularly be found scurrying around car boot sales relieving old ladies of priceless (or, more often, overpriced) record collections to sell on eBay. Inveterately lazy, he has thus far steadfastly avoided getting either a long-term girlfriend or a proper job (both of which are hard to find in Folkestone anyway).

Mike is blessed with an astonishingly loud voice, which he uses regularly to browbeat strangers at parties.