Profile

Part-time rock star and occasional city worker, Simon Kidney (AKA Clint Cuthbert), spends most of his days trying to establish how he slipped through the net and never went pro with home town club Northampton Saints; the bastards.

His internal monologue muses incessantly on how to word a new pre-fix for sentence ending "for my iPod".

Born in the bleak, wild and uncharted terrains of Belgium, Simon's early memories were cruelly lost after a freak elevenses incident involving a vanilla slice. After an extensive period of rehabilitation, followed by another which was thankfully rather more successful, Kidders found a talent whittling figurines of the royal family of Monaco from Tesco mild cheddar.

Upon realisation of the stinted career possibilities of dairy-based sculpture this cool mo-fo switched his energies and earning potential to becoming a walking wide-boy advert with contracts as diverse as Fred Perry and Spam.

It was during this formative period that he became aware of some little physical acumen through the medium of drunken fighting. With energies subsequently re-focused, rugby and football found a striking asset which sometimes kept the studs down, the gouging to a minimum, the language to himself and the forearms below the shoulder.

It was during this time that form was studied and the skills required to succeed in the Preds were nurtured.

So watch out you bunch of losers, or he'll f*ckin' well fight ya.